“It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable it is, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.” – Martha Graham
(This post leads on from the last one.)
After I found the quote from Martha Graham in my old writing journal, I decided to write it again in my 2023 journal as it struck a chord with me as it did back when I was 19 years old.
However, I googled the reason for her writing that letter. Why had she written it to Agnes DeMille, and I found out it was because Agnes had said to her; “I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.”
Through research I found that Agnes – a dancer and choreographer – had choreographed two shows that she had personally felt she had done a wonderful job on, but audiences etc hadn’t been overly impressed and nothing had come from either of the shows.
She then choreographed “Oklahoma,” which she thought she had done an okay job on, but suddenly gained huge success from. It confused her. She questioned her scale of value. Began to distrust herself, which is why she spoke to Martha.
On researching this fantastic letter – and quote from Martha Graham – I came across a writer called James Clear who wrote a fantastic post about what Agnes was feeling and Martha’s message.
The following is a section I have copied from his post, which I highly recommend reading.
“… not only are you a bad judge of your own work, it is not your job to judge your own work. It is not your place to compare it to others. It is not your responsibility to figure out how valuable it is or how useful it can be. It is not your job to tell yourself, “No.”
Instead, your responsibility is to create. Your job is to share what you have to offer from where you are right now…”
I am terrible when it comes to comparing. These last few years I have been very bad with it due to taking an unplanned break from writing. I watch the quick success of newer authors and wonder what it is I have been doing wrong the last 13 - almost 14 - years.
I didn’t start writing to be loved by millions of people. I didn’t start writing for money – although it helps. I didn’t start writing for fame.
I started writing because I have always been a day dreamer. I have always had a crazy imagination. I have always loved telling stories and when I was 18 and studying musical theatre it dawned on me that as much as I loved to tell other people’s stories, I had my own to tell, and I would need to write them if I wanted them to be heard.
Not everyone will like my stories, and that’s okay. I don’t particularly like every story I hear/see/read. We all have different tastes.
It’s hard to not compare. It’s hard to not question why some people do better than others. It's hard to not get lost in doubt.
What I need to do is keep reminding myself of why I started to write. What is important is that I enjoy writing and telling those stories. The joy is what matters. I am thankful that I can share my stories, and I am so grateful to those who have purchased them; read them, reviewed them… and even loved them.
I enjoyed James message so much that I made a note of it in my journal.
Check out James Clear’s post – Martha Graham on the Hidden Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others.